Dr Stephen WhiteHead

Sociologist and writer on men, masculinities, changing lives of women and men, and the future of intimacy. He has spent over three decades studying men, women and changing gender relations. His current work examines the growing divergence between male and female lives, the consequences for relationships, and the emergence of AI as a new form of intimacy.

The Global AI Intimacy Study

I am leading a two-tier international study into how people are forming emotional and intimate relationships with AI systems — what they seek from them, what they get, and what it is displacing.

The project combines a global survey tier with in-depth qualitative fieldwork, anchored in Latin America and India. I am joined by three co-investigators: Professor Constanza Fernández Arce (Universidad Bernado O’Higgins, Santiago), Dr Kriti Parashar (School of Law, Christ University, Delhi) and Dr Sreelatha Narayanan (School of Psychology, Christ University, Delhi).

The questions are sociological before they are technological. Synthetic intimacy is not simply a product category; it is a reordering of how affection, disclosure and dependence are distributed — and it is arriving fastest in the places least represented in the existing research, almost all of which is drawn from North America and Europe.

The study’s first published output, co-authored with Dr Kriti Parashar, appeared in The Wire (India) on 13 August 2026: “AI Companions Are Exploiting Human Intimacy and India Needs a Law” — arguing that India’s Digital Personal Data Protection Act protects conventional personal data while leaving emotional data entirely ungoverned. Research is currently underway and due to conclude by September. 2027.

‘If you are in Yorkshire in October, why not pop along to this fantastic Leeds event.
I will be participating as part of a panel discussing ‘Where Have All the Good Men Gone?‘

Prologue

Stephen’s books and writing span over 25 years and range from the essential sociological text on ‘Men and Masculinities’ (2002) to the mainstream global best-selling ‘Many Faces of Men’ (2006). Recent books include three on Total Inclusivity, all published by Routledge in 2022; a highly acclaimed co-authored book on ‘International Schooling’ (2020); and the definitive examination of ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (2021). Stephen is co-creator (with Van Thanh Binh) of the concept of Totally Inclusive Self-Love. This partnership has created a new ground-breaking book ‘Self-Love for Women: Overcoming Toxic Femininity and Suffering’ (Acorn Books, 2004).

My selected five best books to convince you to be a feminist (courtesy of www.shepherd.com).

Play

LATEST BOOKS

Published Oct 1, 2025

The End of Sex: The Gender Revolution and its Consequences

An insightful, bold and creative exploration that challenges the foundations of gender and sexuality

Written by one of the world’s leading experts on gender identity and men and masculinities, this landmark book explains why women and men are not just living apart, but growing apart – a gender divergence now impacting not just marriage, birth rates and divorce, but all sexual relationships.

Published July 25, 2025

Design Your Self: 21 Life Lessons

Design Your Self: 21 Life Lessons is a bold and transformative guide to self-creation, personal ‎growth, and embracing life’s complexities. Drawing on decades of experience and research, ‎internationally renowned sociologist Dr Stephen Whitehead explores identity, love, relationships, ‎career, spirituality, and the pursuit of true fulfilment.

Published May 29, 2025

The Myths of Toxic Femininity

“A truly ground-breaking, empowering book and an essential read for any woman who ever felt overwhelmed by the competing demands made on her by society; any woman who sought love and found only disappointment; any woman who doubted she was strong enough to pursue her dreams.”

Published February 22, 2024

Self-Love for Women

How does one arrive at the harbour of inner peace, security and happiness which they are looking for? Self-Love for Women identifies the biggest barrier that women must overcome in order to reach a state of true happiness: toxic femininity. It explains what self-love really is, how to achieve it, and how to use it to triumph over suffering in order to acquire self-validation, self-worth, self-sufficiency and self-understanding.

Feedback from Readers

[readmore counter="200"]"Self-Love for Women: Overcoming Toxic Femininity and Suffering" by Dr. Stephen Whitehead and Binh Van Thanh is a compelling work that navigates the intricate landscapes of self-perception, societal expectations, and the transformative journey towards self-love and empowerment. It aims to help women who are ensnared by the detrimental constructs of toxic femininity. "Self-Love for Women" meticulously dissects the construct of toxic femininity, which is a barrier to personal fulfilment and societal progress. The book is not merely diagnostic but prescriptive, offering readers a roadmap to transcend these barriers through self-validation, autonomy, and a profound comprehension of one’s worth. It distinguishes itself by not only illuminating the path to self-love but also equipping the reader with the practical tools necessary to navigate this journey. The book provides pivotal insights that are both timely and timeless to readers who are seeking to embark on or further their journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment. It challenges the reader to question and dismantle long-held beliefs, thereby fostering a culture of empowerment and self-sufficiency. The narrative champions the notion that true emancipation begins with the self—a message of unparalleled importance in today's socio-cultural milieu. What sets "Self-Love for Women" apart is its unyielding focus on actionable guidance. The theoretical underpinnings of the book are seamlessly translated into practical steps, ensuring that readers are not left to navigate the complexities of self-love in abstraction. This approach not only empowers women to identify and break free from the chains of toxic femininity but also fosters an environment conducive to sustained personal growth and happiness. Overall, "Self-Love for Women: Overcoming Toxic Femininity and Suffering" is an essential addition to the libraries of those invested in the pursuit of genuine happiness and self-fulfilment. Dr. Stephen Whitehead and Binh Van Thanh have crafted a work that is reflective of the challenges faced by women today and visionary in its approach to overcoming them. Highly recommended for its profound insights and pragmatic advice, it is a pivotal resource for anyone seeking to reclaim their worth and potential. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"]Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 March 2024 Twelve different women. Twelve different stories. Each bound by one important theme: the struggle for self-love. Maybe you are not one of the twelve. It's very likely though that you'll find yourself amongst them. A little bit of one, parts of another. All women, and, for that matter, all men, can therefore take something from this book. Women will learn what toxic femininity is, the signs, the struggles, and how to successfully overcome it. Men will learn how to avoid being the source of toxicity and how to support females in their lives who may be struggling with it. Critically, and explained well by Stephen and Van Thanh, toxic femininity isn't the same as toxic masculinity. The latter turns outwards, railing against others. The former turns inwards, railing against self. Hence the need for self-love - and hence the importance and value of this book. A vital read for anyone wanting to better understand what it is, and how to love being, a female 'self'. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"]I really enjoy how the authors propose two definitions of "self-love" and "toxic feminity". Especially, the book also successfully defines "self-love" by stating what is not self-love, which strongly supports its definition, and 12 different stories show how these two notions are exhibited differently. Moreover, what is interesting in the book lies in its further description of "Totally inclusive self-love". However, it would have been more significant and convincing if the authors had discussed previous definitions of "self-love" and/or "toxic feminity" (if any). I also like the way characters are peculiarly, especially (and anonymously) named. Though there are 12 disparate stories, some are connected at some points, which is also seen in how the authors arrange their stories in three parts. Personally, I am into the story of Flower, simply, because, besides self-love, I also see communication as a key factor in a relationship since, I think, one of the reasons for the marriage failures in most of the stories is failed communication due to many factors. I also like the last story because of the different way of narration from the other. The book, generally, reflects my appreciation of my personal suffering since through my suffering over many years, I understand I can fight against anything! [/readmore]

Published November, 2022

Creating a Totally Inclusive University

[readmore counter=”300″ ] This book introduces the concept and practices of Total Inclusivity to universities around the world. It is written to help universities contend with increasing public scrutiny and uncertainty around issues of diversity, equity, inclusion and justice now at the forefront of global higher education. Providing a guide and template to higher education leaders, the book addresses such issues as work culture, free speech, student wellbeing, racism, LGBT+ identities, managerialism or ‘simply’ the ability of the institution to survive post-Covid. Whitehead and O’Connor argue that handling these issues can best be done in a university climate and system which is Totally Inclusive. This is the standard for any higher education institution to aim for, not only in its teaching but in its fundamental principles and everyday practices if it is to meet its obligations to its members and to wider society. The book aims to support universities as well as challenge the status quo as they grapple with the different global and societal pressures confronting them. It is an essential read for anyone working in leadership in higher education institutions and those interested in creating inclusive practices within their institution.[/readmore]

Feedback from Readers

Published November, 2022

Becoming a Totally Inclusive School:

A Guide for Teachers and School Leaders

[readmore counter=”300″] Educators are at a crossroads and the global call for institutions to address their inequitable structures is ringing loudly. For teachers and school leaders who are hearing that call, this book offers knowledge and guidance for becoming a Totally Inclusive school. Each chapter delves into key ideas that are fundamental to addressing the complex challenge of achieving Total Inclusivity – one which encompasses and values racial diversity, gender equality, LGBTQ+ inclusivity, neurodiversity and more. Across the three sections, the authors introduce key terms and concepts important to inclusivity, focused on mindsets, behaviours and systems and structures. Explore how interactions contribute to or impede progress, and engage with tools, stories and reflection points to translate knowledge into practice. Written in an accessible style with reflective exercises in every chapter, the book will guide educational professionals along the pathway to becoming advocates for inclusivity in their schools and communities. [/readmore]

Feedback from Readers

[readmore counter="200"] Imagine the possibilities when international education becomes truly inclusive. The ability to make connections with people from every corner of the world, embracing new cultures, perspectives, and ideas, is now a fundamental part of life. The authors of 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School' have turned their personal experiences and views into a source of inspiration for people who strive to make international education more accessible and more effective for all. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"] Real-life, accessible, challengingly upfront and honest, 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School' is essential reading for all educators. In these times where awareness of diversity, equity and inclusion are front and centre for us all, we need resources that support us in facing sometimes uncomfortable truths; where we look at ourselves and our communities and ask, 'is everyone totally included in our school, is our school totally inclusive?' Angeline, Sadie and Stephen have created a book that covers key theoretical models and approaches, alongside practical case studies in action that can be used and implemented in schools throughout the world. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"] A clear and accessible framework for reflection and action for social justice. 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School,' is a must read for any educator or school leader who is ready and willing to lean into the deep work of cultivating a learning community that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive. [/readmore]

July 4, 2022

Total Inclusivity at Work

[readmore counter=”300″] Despite inclusivity’s importance and most people’s desire for it, understanding inclusivity can be tricky. This book introduces the concept of Total Inclusivity to organisations, their leaders and employees around the world. It aims to help organisations and those people who create them, to become Totally Inclusive communities, wherein diversity is valued, healthy identities enabled, respect for difference prevails, and every member counts – regardless of their identity mix. The book provides insights into how identity works and defines Total Inclusivity as concept and practice. Whitehead suggests what organisations can do to safeguard and nurture diverse organisational identities. The book also provides easy to follow guidelines on how we can implement Total Inclusivity in organisation through individuals. Written in an accessible style, while informed by contemporary research into the self, organisations and identities, this book will not only guide organisational members – owners, CEOs, leaders, managers, administrators and every staff member – along the pathway to creating a Totally Inclusive community, it will establish a ground-breaking and unassailable ethical standard for all organisations to follow as they venture further into this century. [/readmore]

Feedback from Readers

[readmore counter="200"] Stephen Whitehead has imaginatively constructed a vision for a creative future; one that is ‘purposeful, reflective, informed and relentless’. Total Inclusivity speaks to us not only about the principles and practices of DEIJ but of the poetics of living with ourselves, with each other and our environment. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"] Balancing theory with a strong bias for practical and actionable insight, this book adds an authoritative and informed voice to the rising chorus demanding diverse workplaces. It is both timely and prescient; predicting a shift in what it will take for organisations to survive and thrive. Nothing short of 'total inclusivity' will be enough. Relevant to managers and leaders in organisations of all shapes, sizes, and forms, 'Total Inclusivity at Work' is a powerful and important concept and this is a powerful and important book. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"] This book is bold in its statement of truths, and truly transformative in presenting the challenges we all face in creating inclusive cultures in an engaging, compassionate, manner. To suggest that this book is integral to understanding what it means to be ‘totally inclusive’ is an understatement. It is essential reading – not just for advocates of diversity, equity, inclusion and justice – but for each and every member of the communities in which we live and work. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"] Profound, punchy, bold, and softened with touches of humour, this book introduces Total Inclusivity, a concept and practice whose time has come. ‘Woke’ or not, read it! [/readmore]

November 1, 2020

International Schooling

The Teacher's Guide: A Companion To Your International Adventure

[readmore counter=”200″] Practical and easy-to-access, this comprehensive guide provides insight into one of the biggest, and most exciting, career transitions and life adventures many teachers ever make [/readmore]

Feedback from Readers

[readmore counter="200"] Well-researched and academically robust, this book provides an overview of the exciting world of international education and sound advice for the newbie and the experienced. Stephen and Denry have not only drawn on their own research and experience but also completed a “sense check” through their extensive and experienced contacts in the world of international schools. I will be recommending this book to all those applying internationally to my school.” [/readmore]

I found the advice super helpful in helping to plan my escape!

[readmore counter="200"] For anyone thinking or planning to work in an international school this is a must have book. [/readmore]

Great advice, very thorough.

[readmore counter="200"] What a great book for teachers! Actually, it’s a great book for anyone thinking of moving abroad for work. [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"] Provides all kinds of information from school selection to masters degrees in a VERY readable format. I recommend this!” [/readmore]

[readmore counter="200"] If you are a leader of an international school, buy multiple copies of this book and give them to your new staff. [/readmore]

November 26, 2019

Toxic Masculinity:

Curing the Virus: making men smarter, healthier, safer

Feedback from Readers

[readmore counter="200"] In this world of mass shootings, violence against women, young men trying to live up to ‘traditional masculinity’, ‘incels’, it’s becoming harder for men to adjust to life. Suicide in young men is on the rise, anger and aggression are booming. Where will it all end? This book explains how it is and how men can and will have to change from the toxic route some are taking. Empathy and compassion for oneself is a big start on the route to salvation from this ever increasing problem. [/readmore]

A well-researched, fascinating, thoroughly good book

An Important book, coming at an important time

Insightful, inspiring and BOLD!

I loved this book. It called me out, it reassured me, and it rekindled my curiosity.

This book could not be more timely or relevant

Stephen’s desire for a more deeply connected experience feels personal, validating and healing.

This book is incredible, it can help a lot of men avoid dangerous actions but only if they are not afraid to listen. We are all human beings, safety and healthy freedom are human rights.

Latest News!

I am delighted to now be represented by one of the UK’s foremost Talent Management Agencies: The Double Agents (part of the Palamedes.Cap It All Media Group).

www.thedoubleagents.co.uk

Also, I am pleased to announce that I am now Special Correspondent in Leadership and Organisational Culture for The European Magazine, and Guest Writer for National World Publishing and Female First.