Stephen Whitehead

Dr Stephen WhiteHead

Sociologist, Feminist, Educationalist, Writer, and Internationally Recognised Expert on Gender Studies, Gender Identity, and Men and Masculinities. Creator of the Total Inclusivity and Totally Inclusive Self-Love concepts. Creator of the Independent Femininity concept. Co-creator of the Toxic Masculinity and Toxic (hegemonic) Femininity concepts. Author of 20 books. 

Read "Woke up"
Latest News!
I am delighted to now be represented by one of the UK’s foremost Talent Management Agencies: The Double Agents (part of the Palamedes.Cap It All Media Group). 
Also, I am pleased to announce that I am now Special Correspondent in Leadership and Organisational Culture for The European Magazine, and Guest Writer for National World Publishing and Female First.

‘If you are in Yorkshire in October, why not pop along to this fantastic Leeds event.
I will be participating as part of a panel discussing ‘Where Have All the Good Men Gone?‘

Prologue

Stephen’s books and writing span over 25 years and range from the essential sociological text on ‘Men and Masculinities’ (2002) to the mainstream global best-selling ‘Many Faces of Men’ (2006). Recent books include three on Total Inclusivity, all published by Routledge in 2022; a highly acclaimed co-authored book on ‘International Schooling’ (2020); and the definitive examination of ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (2021). Stephen is co-creator (with Van Thanh Binh) of the concept of Totally Inclusive Self-Love. This partnership has created a new ground-breaking book ‘Self-Love for Women: Overcoming Toxic Femininity and Suffering’ (Acorn Books, 2004).
My selected five best books to convince you to be a feminist (courtesy of www.shepherd.com). 
Visit Website

Sex, celibacy & collapse of marriage system....Where are we heading?

3 Videos

LATEST BOOKS

Published Oct 1, 2025

The End of Sex: The Gender Revolution and its Consequences

An insightful, bold and creative exploration that challenges the foundations of gender and sexuality

Written by one of the world’s leading experts on gender identity and men and masculinities, this landmark book explains why women and men are not just living apart, but growing apart – a gender divergence now impacting not just marriage, birth rates and divorce, but all sexual relationships.

Go to Buy
Get detail

Published July 25, 2025

Design Your Self: 21 Life Lessons

Design Your Self: 21 Life Lessons is a bold and transformative guide to self-creation, personal ‎growth, and embracing life’s complexities. Drawing on decades of experience and research, ‎internationally renowned sociologist Dr Stephen Whitehead explores identity, love, relationships, ‎career, spirituality, and the pursuit of true fulfilment.

Go to Buy
Get detail

Published May 29, 2025

The Myths of Toxic Femininity

“A truly ground-breaking, empowering book and an essential read for any woman who ever felt overwhelmed by the competing demands made on her by society; any woman who sought love and found only disappointment; any woman who doubted she was strong enough to pursue her dreams.”

Go to Buy
Get detail

Published February 22, 2024

Self-Love for Women

How does one arrive at the harbour of inner peace, security and happiness which they are looking for? Self-Love for Women identifies the biggest barrier that women must overcome in order to reach a state of true happiness: toxic femininity. It explains what self-love really is, how to achieve it, and how to use it to triumph over suffering in order to acquire self-validation, self-worth, self-sufficiency and self-understanding.

Go to Buy
Get detail
Feedback from Readers
Bertie Wooster
☆☆☆☆☆
Amazon Customer

"Self-Love for Women: Overcoming Toxic Femininity and Suffering" by Dr. Stephen Whitehead and Binh Van Thanh is a compelling work that navigates the intricate landscapes of self-perception, societal expectations, and the transformative journey towards self-love and empowerment. It aims to help women who are ensnared by the detrimental constructs of toxic femininity. "Self-Love for Women" meticulously dissects the construct of toxic femininity, which is a barrier to personal fulfilment and societal progress. The book is not merely diagnostic but prescriptive, offering readers a roadmap to transcend these barriers through self-validation, autonomy, and a profound comprehension of one’s worth. It distinguishes itself by not only illuminating the path to self-love but also equipping the reader with the practical tools necessary to navigate this journey. The book provides pivotal insights that are both timely and timeless to readers who are seeking to embark on or further their journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment. It challenges the reader to question and dismantle long-held beliefs, thereby fostering a culture of empowerment and self-sufficiency. The narrative champions the notion that true emancipation begins with the self—a message of unparalleled importance in today's socio-cultural milieu. What sets "Self-Love for Women" apart is its unyielding focus on actionable guidance. The theoretical underpinnings of the book are seamlessly translated into practical steps, ensuring that readers are not left to navigate the complexities of self-love in abstraction. This approach not only empowers women to identify and break free from the chains of toxic femininity but also fosters an environment conducive to sustained personal growth and happiness. Overall, "Self-Love for Women: Overcoming Toxic Femininity and Suffering" is an essential addition to the libraries of those invested in the pursuit of genuine happiness and self-fulfilment. Dr. Stephen Whitehead and Binh Van Thanh have crafted a work that is reflective of the challenges faced by women today and visionary in its approach to overcoming them. Highly recommended for its profound insights and pragmatic advice, it is a pivotal resource for anyone seeking to reclaim their worth and potential. "Self-Love for Women: Overcoming Toxic Femininity and Suffering" by Dr. Stephen Whitehead and Binh Van Thanh is a compelling work that navigates the intricate landscapes of self-perception, societal e...Read More

The Card
☆☆☆☆☆
Amazon Customer

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 March 2024 Twelve different women. Twelve different stories. Each bound by one important theme: the struggle for self-love. Maybe you are not one of the twelve. It's very likely though that you'll find yourself amongst them. A little bit of one, parts of another. All women, and, for that matter, all men, can therefore take something from this book. Women will learn what toxic femininity is, the signs, the struggles, and how to successfully overcome it. Men will learn how to avoid being the source of toxicity and how to support females in their lives who may be struggling with it. Critically, and explained well by Stephen and Van Thanh, toxic femininity isn't the same as toxic masculinity. The latter turns outwards, railing against others. The former turns inwards, railing against self. Hence the need for self-love - and hence the importance and value of this book. A vital read for anyone wanting to better understand what it is, and how to love being, a female 'self'. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 March 2024 Twelve different women. Twelve different stories. Each bound by one important theme: the struggle for self-love. Maybe you are not one of the twelve. It...Read More

Kindle User
☆☆☆☆☆
Amazon Customer

I really enjoy how the authors propose two definitions of "self-love" and "toxic feminity". Especially, the book also successfully defines "self-love" by stating what is not self-love, which strongly supports its definition, and 12 different stories show how these two notions are exhibited differently. Moreover, what is interesting in the book lies in its further description of "Totally inclusive self-love". However, it would have been more significant and convincing if the authors had discussed previous definitions of "self-love" and/or "toxic feminity" (if any). I also like the way characters are peculiarly, especially (and anonymously) named. Though there are 12 disparate stories, some are connected at some points, which is also seen in how the authors arrange their stories in three parts. Personally, I am into the story of Flower, simply, because, besides self-love, I also see communication as a key factor in a relationship since, I think, one of the reasons for the marriage failures in most of the stories is failed communication due to many factors. I also like the last story because of the different way of narration from the other. The book, generally, reflects my appreciation of my personal suffering since through my suffering over many years, I understand I can fight against anything! I really enjoy how the authors propose two definitions of "self-love" and "toxic feminity". Especially, the book also successfully defines "self-love" by stating what is not self-love, which strongly ...Read More

Published November, 2022

Creating a Totally Inclusive University

This book introduces the concept and practices of Total Inclusivity to universities around the world. It is written to help universities contend with increasing public scrutiny and uncertainty around issues of diversity, equity, inclusion and justice now at the forefront of global higher education. Providing a guide and template to higher education leaders, the book addresses such issues as work culture, free speech, student wellbeing, racism, LGBT+ identities, managerialism or ‘simply’ the ability of the institution to survive post-Covid. Whitehead and O’Connor argue that handling these issues can best be done in a university climate and system which is Totally Inclusive. This is the standard for any higher education institution to aim for, not only in its teaching but in its fundamental principles and everyday practices if it is to meet its obligations to its members and to wider society. The book aims to support universities as well as challenge the status quo as they grapple with the different global and societal pressures confronting them. It is an essential read for anyone working in leadership in higher education institutions and those interested in creating inclusive practices within their institution. This book introduces the concept and practices of Total Inclusivity to universities around the world. It is written to help universities contend with increasing public scrutiny and uncertainty around issues of diversity, equity, inclusion and justice now at the forefront of global higher education.…Read More

Go to Buy
Get detail
Feedback from Readers
Prof Deborah EyreExecutive Chair at High Performance Learning, UK

Stephen and Pat’s book is an absolute pleasure to read. It is just so timely to be looking at the real meaning of total inclusivity in all its dimensions, especially higher education. For too long we have known of and spoken of discrimination but have not been bold enough or organised enough to fully address it. This book will stimulate conversations – even uncomfortable conversations and that is what is needed.Stephen and Pat’s book is an absolute pleasure to read. It is just so timely to be looking at the real meaning of total inclusivity in all its dimensions, especially higher education. For too long w...Read More

Steve CropperEmeritus Professor of Management, Keele University, UK

This book is for anyone engaged with the question of what the University is for and asking how such institutions can achieve survival with integrity. Integrity, through the lens of Total Inclusion, refers to principled, respectful inclusion of all individuals pursuing their aspirations through Higher Education – and the avoidance of harm through systematic bias and prejudice - explicit or implicit. Such a responsibility attaches particularly to Universities, distinctive and powerful institutions in society that Whitehead and O’Connor argue should be exemplars of inclusive values and practice. Whitehead and O’Connor start from basics; evidence and theory interwoven. The evidence is drawn with a global sweep, and the authors’ comparative approach will broaden awareness. Throughout the book, they make their case with care, through a ’critical’ lens that exposes the systematic injustices that result from many received practices. The analysis is neither sweeping, nor simplistic. Both authors have walked their talk. Both were what would now be termed ‘non-traditional’ entrants to HE; both have had long careers in Universities; and both are critical scholars with keen eyes for how structural and cultural injustices play out, and how they can be challenged. The book offers a credo; humanist, inclusive, and, in asking how to resolve rather than polarise issues of freedom and justice, appealing to our widest, collective interest. Each chapter has a sharp summary and conclusion, but it’s in the detail of the argument that the compelling value of the book is to be found. There’s a lot to think about and a lot to do as the last two chapters reveal: Whitehead and O’Connor provide a powerful framework, and some useful practical moves to start the process of total inclusion.This book is for anyone engaged with the question of what the University is for and asking how such institutions can achieve survival with integrity. Integrity, through the lens of Total Inclusion, re...Read More

Dr Minh NguyenDirector of Education Services, Vinschool Education System, Vietnam

Whitehead and O’Connor have written a must-read primer for anyone concerned with the future of higher education. It is book for students, leaders, lecturers, all who care to establish a university culture where individuals can bring their whole self to work and thrive in an environment in which people of all backgrounds are empowered and can contribute authentically and genuinely. The concept of Total Inclusivity is timely and powerful during this unprecedented time. Achieving diversity and equity in the workplace is a journey that never ends, but the most important thing is to start. The book is not only informed by contemporary research but also heavily embedded in organizational practices. Read this book - and learn both theoretical and practical knowledge to help you contribute to achieving Total Inclusivity in global higher education.Whitehead and O’Connor have written a must-read primer for anyone concerned with the future of higher education. It is book for students, leaders, lecturers, all who care to establish a university c...Read More

Alex Batten Head of Operations, Harrow Appi International School, Japan

Ever the voice of progressive clarity, Stephen Whitehead (with Pat O’Connor) explores the transient nature of identity in our world. No punches are pulled as the old, romantic notion of leadership is dispersed through a concise breakdown. "Creating a Totally Inclusive University" offers a clear path forward with a strong foundation of both research and morality, focusing on the implementation of true practice over lip service. Any stakeholders in the modern university system would do well to read and keep this one close at hand. Ever the voice of progressive clarity, Stephen Whitehead (with Pat O’Connor) explores the transient nature of identity in our world. No punches are pulled as the old, romantic notion of leadership ...Read More

Dr Denry MachinMD Pedagogue and International School Consultant

This is an important book, coming at an important time. Universities face critical scrutiny, not least of all from increasingly informed – and increasingly demanding – students and staff. Nothing short of 'total inclusivity' is enough. Relevant to managers and leaders in institutions of all shapes, sizes, and forms, ‘Creating a Totally Inclusive University’ balances theory and actionable insight with powerful stories of lived experience (both where things went right and where things went wrong). Stephen and Pat add their authoritative and informed voices to the rising chorus demanding fully inclusive Universities.This is an important book, coming at an important time. Universities face critical scrutiny, not least of all from increasingly informed – and increasingly demanding – students and staff. Nothing ...Read More

Nicholas McKieAssistant Professor, University of Warwick, UK

This important book is emblematic of conversations happening across the education sector as a whole. In my work at a Russell Group UK university, I know first hand the importance placed on valuing, protecting, and nurturing diverse identities. This insightful book marries theory with practice, supporting universities with their current reflections and policy making in this area. This important book is emblematic of conversations happening across the education sector as a whole. In my work at a Russell Group UK university, I know first hand the importance placed on valuing, p...Read More

Dr Chokchai Suttawet Thailand National Research Office and development activist

This inspiring book confirms that universities must transform themselves in this new global era. Universities can no longer be exclusive; they must meet the changing needs of a global society. Universities have been based too much on specialization and elitism, with little concern for inclusivity and collaboration. Every aspect of this book and all the practical guidance given by the authors, leads us to co-rebuild a smarter total inclusive university.This inspiring book confirms that universities must transform themselves in this new global era. Universities can no longer be exclusive; they must meet the changing needs of a global society. Univers...Read More

Dr Rob PowerFounder, www.powerfulhistories.com

As ever more intense scrutiny is placed on the capacity of Higher Education Institutions to create inclusive spaces, the authors offer accessible, non-judgemental pathways for HE communities to reframe approaches to Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Justice. The book not only gives cause for a critical reassessment of HEI cultures (and the dominant hierarchies of value entrenched within it) but demonstrates how Totally Inclusive activism can impact positively on our lives - in education, and beyond. Aside from being a truly welcome addition to a flourishing literature on this subject, the book is notable for offering a framework for the creation of safe, intellectually stimulating, communities in which every individual belongs.As ever more intense scrutiny is placed on the capacity of Higher Education Institutions to create inclusive spaces, the authors offer accessible, non-judgemental pathways for HE communities to refram...Read More

Published November, 2022

Becoming a Totally Inclusive School:

A Guide for Teachers and School Leaders

Educators are at a crossroads and the global call for institutions to address their inequitable structures is ringing loudly. For teachers and school leaders who are hearing that call, this book offers knowledge and guidance for becoming a Totally Inclusive school. Each chapter delves into key ideas that are fundamental to addressing the complex challenge of achieving Total Inclusivity – one which encompasses and values racial diversity, gender equality, LGBTQ+ inclusivity, neurodiversity and more. Across the three sections, the authors introduce key terms and concepts important to inclusivity, focused on mindsets, behaviours and systems and structures. Explore how interactions contribute to or impede progress, and engage with tools, stories and reflection points to translate knowledge into practice. Written in an accessible style with reflective exercises in every chapter, the book will guide educational professionals along the pathway to becoming advocates for inclusivity in their schools and communities. Educators are at a crossroads and the global call for institutions to address their inequitable structures is ringing loudly. For teachers and school leaders who are hearing that call, this book offers knowledge and guidance for becoming a Totally Inclusive school. Each chapter delves into key idea…Read More

Go to buy
Get detail
Feedback from Readers
Jane LarssonExecutive Director, Council of International Schools (CIS)

Imagine the possibilities when international education becomes truly inclusive. The ability to make connections with people from every corner of the world, embracing new cultures, perspectives, and ideas, is now a fundamental part of life. The authors of 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School' have turned their personal experiences and views into a source of inspiration for people who strive to make international education more accessible and more effective for all. Imagine the possibilities when international education becomes truly inclusive. The ability to make connections with people from every corner of the world, embracing new cultures, perspectives, and i...Read More

Liz FreeDirector, International School Rheintal, Switzerland

Real-life, accessible, challengingly upfront and honest, 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School' is essential reading for all educators. In these times where awareness of diversity, equity and inclusion are front and centre for us all, we need resources that support us in facing sometimes uncomfortable truths; where we look at ourselves and our communities and ask, 'is everyone totally included in our school, is our school totally inclusive?' Angeline, Sadie and Stephen have created a book that covers key theoretical models and approaches, alongside practical case studies in action that can be used and implemented in schools throughout the world. Real-life, accessible, challengingly upfront and honest, 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School' is essential reading for all educators. In these times where awareness of diversity, equity and inclusio...Read More

Elizabeth PalathraPrimary Teacher, Switzerland

A clear and accessible framework for reflection and action for social justice. 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School,' is a must read for any educator or school leader who is ready and willing to lean into the deep work of cultivating a learning community that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A clear and accessible framework for reflection and action for social justice. 'Becoming a Totally Inclusive School,' is a must read for any educator or school leader who is ready and willing to lean...Read More

Total Inclusivity at Work cover

July 4, 2022

Total Inclusivity at Work

Despite inclusivity’s importance and most people’s desire for it, understanding inclusivity can be tricky. This book introduces the concept of Total Inclusivity to organisations, their leaders and employees around the world. It aims to help organisations and those people who create them, to become Totally Inclusive communities, wherein diversity is valued, healthy identities enabled, respect for difference prevails, and every member counts – regardless of their identity mix. The book provides insights into how identity works and defines Total Inclusivity as concept and practice. Whitehead suggests what organisations can do to safeguard and nurture diverse organisational identities. The book also provides easy to follow guidelines on how we can implement Total Inclusivity in organisation through individuals. Written in an accessible style, while informed by contemporary research into the self, organisations and identities, this book will not only guide organisational members – owners, CEOs, leaders, managers, administrators and every staff member – along the pathway to creating a Totally Inclusive community, it will establish a ground-breaking and unassailable ethical standard for all organisations to follow as they venture further into this century. Despite inclusivity’s importance and most people’s desire for it, understanding inclusivity can be tricky. This book introduces the concept of Total Inclusivity to organisations, their leaders and employees around the world. It aims to help organisations and those people who create them, to bec…Read More

Go to Buy
Get detail
Feedback from Readers
Amazon user
★★★★★

Stephen Whitehead has imaginatively constructed a vision for a creative future; one that is ‘purposeful, reflective, informed and relentless’. Total Inclusivity speaks to us not only about the principles and practices of DEIJ but of the poetics of living with ourselves, with each other and our environment. Stephen Whitehead has imaginatively constructed a vision for a creative future; one that is ‘purposeful, reflective, informed and relentless’. Total Inclusivity speaks to us not only about the pr...Read More

Amazon user
★★★★★

Balancing theory with a strong bias for practical and actionable insight, this book adds an authoritative and informed voice to the rising chorus demanding diverse workplaces. It is both timely and prescient; predicting a shift in what it will take for organisations to survive and thrive. Nothing short of 'total inclusivity' will be enough. Relevant to managers and leaders in organisations of all shapes, sizes, and forms, 'Total Inclusivity at Work' is a powerful and important concept and this is a powerful and important book. Balancing theory with a strong bias for practical and actionable insight, this book adds an authoritative and informed voice to the rising chorus demanding diverse workplaces. It is both timely and p...Read More

Amazon user
★★★★★

This book is bold in its statement of truths, and truly transformative in presenting the challenges we all face in creating inclusive cultures in an engaging, compassionate, manner. To suggest that this book is integral to understanding what it means to be ‘totally inclusive’ is an understatement. It is essential reading – not just for advocates of diversity, equity, inclusion and justice – but for each and every member of the communities in which we live and work. This book is bold in its statement of truths, and truly transformative in presenting the challenges we all face in creating inclusive cultures in an engaging, compassionate, manner. To suggest that t...Read More

Amazon user
★★★★★
Profound, punchy, bold, and softened with touches of humour, this book introduces Total Inclusivity, a concept and practice whose time has come. ‘Woke’ or not, read it!
International Schooling book

November 1, 2020

International Schooling

The Teacher's Guide: A Companion To Your International Adventure

Practical and easy-to-access, this comprehensive guide provides insight into one of the biggest, and most exciting, career transitions and life adventures many teachers ever make
Go to Buy
Get detail
Feedback from Readers
Amazon user
★★★★★

Well-researched and academically robust, this book provides an overview of the exciting world of international education and sound advice for the newbie and the experienced. Stephen and Denry have not only drawn on their own research and experience but also completed a “sense check” through their extensive and experienced contacts in the world of international schools. I will be recommending this book to all those applying internationally to my school.” Well-researched and academically robust, this book provides an overview of the exciting world of international education and sound advice for the newbie and the experienced. Stephen and Denry have no...Read More

Amazon user
★★★★★
I found the advice super helpful in helping to plan my escape!
Amazon user
★★★★★
For anyone thinking or planning to work in an international school this is a must have book.
Amazon user
★★★★★
Great advice, very thorough.
Amazon user
★★★★★
What a great book for teachers! Actually, it’s a great book for anyone thinking of moving abroad for work.
Amazon user
★★★★★
Provides all kinds of information from school selection to masters degrees in a VERY readable format. I recommend this!”
Amazon user
★★★★★
If you are a leader of an international school, buy multiple copies of this book and give them to your new staff.
Toxic Masculinity

November 26, 2019

Toxic Masculinity:

Curing the Virus: making men smarter, healthier, safer

Despite inclusivity’s importance and most people’s desire for it, understanding inclusivity can be tricky. This book introduces the concept of Total Inclusivity to organisations, their leaders and employees around the world. It aims to help organisations and those people who create them, to become Totally Inclusive communities, wherein diversity is valued, healthy identities enabled, respect for difference prevails, and every member counts – regardless of their identity mix. The book provides insights into how identity works and defines Total Inclusivity as concept and practice. Whitehead suggests what organisations can do to safeguard and nurture diverse organisational identities. The book also provides easy to follow guidelines on how we can implement Total Inclusivity in organisation through individuals. Written in an accessible style, while informed by contemporary research into the self, organisations and identities, this book will not only guide organisational members – owners, CEOs, leaders, managers, administrators and every staff member – along the pathway to creating a Totally Inclusive community, it will establish a ground-breaking and unassailable ethical standard for all organisations to follow as they venture further into this century. Despite inclusivity’s importance and most people’s desire for it, understanding inclusivity can be tricky. This book introduces the concept of Total Inclusivity to organisations, their leaders and employees around the world. It aims to help organisations and those people who create them, to bec…Read More

Go to Buy
Get detail
Feedback from Readers
Amazon user
★★★★★

In this world of mass shootings, violence against women, young men trying to live up to ‘traditional masculinity’, ‘incels’, it’s becoming harder for men to adjust to life. Suicide in young men is on the rise, anger and aggression are booming. Where will it all end? This book explains how it is and how men can and will have to change from the toxic route some are taking. Empathy and compassion for oneself is a big start on the route to salvation from this ever increasing problem. In this world of mass shootings, violence against women, young men trying to live up to ‘traditional masculinity’, ‘incels’, it’s becoming harder for men to adjust to life. Suicide in young...Read More

Amazon user
★★★★★
A well-researched, fascinating, thoroughly good book
Amazon user
★★★★★
An Important book, coming at an important time
Amazon user
★★★★★
Insightful, inspiring and BOLD!
Amazon user
★★★★★
I loved this book. It called me out, it reassured me, and it rekindled my curiosity.
Amazon user
★★★★★
This book could not be more timely or relevant
Amazon user
★★★★★
Stephen’s desire for a more deeply connected experience feels personal, validating and healing.
Ivy Love
★★★★★
This book is incredible, it can help a lot of men avoid dangerous actions but only if they are not afraid to listen. We are all human beings, safety and healthy freedom are human rights.
Facebook-f Linkedin-in Medium X-twitter
Stephen Podcast