Before we start, a word of warning: it is impossible to write this piece without engaging in generalisations. But hey, let’s do it anyway – I’ll just try and keep both the Asian and Western stereotypes fair if not accurate!
First off, what do we mean by ‘Asian people’? For Westerners, the heart of Asia is probably Bangkok. In other words, the term ‘Asia’ conjures up a mental image not a geopolitical reality. And while we at it, what do we mean by ‘Westerners’? Well we don’t mean anyone born west of Myanmar. Westerners are most definitely North American, Australasian and European.
The world is complex, diverse and changing fast, though when it comes to envisaging the ‘Other’ we tend to avoid all that cultural confusion and head for the safety of a single image. And in Western imagination, no country exemplifies Asia more than Thailand.
Human beings are said to each have an aura: a distinctive light or colour which reflects their inner self. Thailand has an aura – bright orange.
In fact, the whole of Asia is colourful. And it is that colour which first-time Westerners see – and feel – when they step of the plane at Suvarnabumhi airport. No matter how jetlagged after their 20-hour flight from grey and gloomy Oslo or Berlin, the Westerner will feel immediately uplifted upon arrival in this amazing city (at least, once through immigration and in their taxi to the hotel!).
My first trip to Thailand was in May 2001. I was a reluctant visitor. I only came because I was accompanying my eldest son on one of his regular Asian business-trips. When we were planning the trip, he asked me which places I’d like to visit in Asia. I listed off my top three – places I’d always wanted to visit but never had the chance: Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur and Singapore (I’d previously visited Bali a decade earlier). Thailand was not even on my list. Why? I just imagined Bangkok to be noisy and rather seedy. A bit too colourful even for my youthful 52 years. Fortunately for me, Bangkok was added to our itinerary at the last minute – my son had a business meeting with some Thai clients of his. Worth noting that by then he was already in love with Thailand.
I guess I too started to fall in love with Thailand the moment I arrived at Don Muang Airport in May 2001. And that love has never left me. I still feel it over two decades later and having lived permanently in Chiang Mai since 2009.
And what about HK, KL and Singapore? Yes, I found them interesting, rather exotic and definitely vibrant, but no way did they come close to matching Bangkok. Since then, I have visited most every country in east and south east Asia, in some cases for long-term stays, and while they all have similarities, and individual qualities, none can match Thailand.
From my very first trip with my eldest son, Thailand trapped me. But to be fair, I’ve since met many Westerners similarly trapped by Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Taiwan, Hong Kong and China.
So, what is it about Asia that makes so many Westerners fall in love the region?
Answer: They are falling in love with that which they are not; that which they do not have; and to be fair, that which they most certainly do not understand.
The best marriages occur between opposites, so they say. The ying and yang combine to create the whole. And this is equally true with expats. I’ve enjoyed many days in Amsterdam, Dublin, Toronto and Madrid, but no way would I go and live in those cities. They are just not different enough from my native UK.
I recall my 23-year old daughter’s first visit to Thailand back in 2016. She arrived as an experienced solo traveller having already visited most every continent. A self-confident, Oxford University postgraduate student, she was not a woman to be easily influenced by Tripadvisor reviews. Yet almost immediately she too fell in love with the country.
“Wow, dad, this is amazing”, repeated over and over again as she and I drank our cocktails at a plush Sukhumvit hotel sky bar, mesmerised by the neon-lit city.
My second son arrived in Taiwan as an 18-year old student in 2012. He never left. Over the next decade he studied Mandarin at Taiwan National Normal University, becoming fluent, before establishing a kindergarten in Taipei. He is as assimilated into Asia as it is possible for any Westerner to be. Next year he moves to Thailand. No way will he ever return to live in the UK.
Westerners see Asians as polite, reserved, traditional, respectful, and family-orientated. They feel safe in Asia, and they feel free in Asia.
To be sure, that freedom can be dangerous if not fatal. Too many Westerners relish the freedom of riding a scooter in Phuket or climbing a waterfall in Kanchanaburi, only to end up in hospital or the mortuary.
Westerners love the Thai smile – but innocently interpret a Thai’s engaging manner as compliance and passivity.
Westerners come to Asia feeling a little superior if not smug – better educated, wealthier, more politically astute, and definitely more powerful than the average Asian. And why not? The West has the best universities, the most stable democracies, and loads of material and cultural clout.
However, these same Westerners will learn that the most powerful passport is now Singaporean; young Asians prefer South Korean culture to Western; there are twice as many billionaires in Shenzen than in London; Bangkok has world class hospitals along with world-class hotels; and many UK universities would be bankrupt without Asian students.
Pretty soon, any feeling of superiority will start to ebb away, replaced by a respect for Asian culture, Asian spirituality, Asian communalism, Asian resilience, Asian wisdom, Asian history, and Asian ambition.
To be sure, some Westerners will arrive in Asia looking to impose Western values, but they will be treated kindly and quietly ignored. Asia may be globalised but it is still Asia.
For countless numbers of Westerners, especially those seeking a place to retire, there is nowhere better to enjoy the (warming) climate, great food, amazing scenery, genuine hospitality, deep spiritual connection, and the finest health care. Just stay out of Asian politics. In short, whatever stereotypes Westerners might have of Asia, this rich, energetic and rapidly developing region will confound them and in confounding them so they will fall in love with that difference.
Asia has a kaleidoscope of auras all of which dazzle if not blind the typical Westerner. Expats like myself and my children, coming here for more than a two-week holiday, will certainly experience culture shock. They will have their Western values and assumptions tested to the limit and having been tested so they will these same Westerners be changed. And for the better. Because in experiencing that change so will they learn more not just about the Other, but about themselves.
